My Big Brother

	Dan: So, can you work the windows from back there? JD: No, why? Dan: (farts) JD: Oh god, please tell me that was the horn Dan: There's your heated seat my friend JD: Oh god, it's everywhere!
	Dan: So, what's my little bro like in the sack? Elliot: What! JD: You do not have to answer that Dan: If he tries hard but there's room for improvement take a sip of your drink Elliot: (laughs and takes sip) JD: Hey! Elliot: What? I was thirsty
	Turk: How about this one? JD: You want to get a clear shower curtain? Why don't I just nude up in the living room and you can spray me down with the hose Turk: Dude, if you are going to be that self-conscious I can always doodle in chest hair right about where you'd stand JD: I have a chest hair, I named him Clancy
	JD: Dr. Cox, this is my big brother Dan, he just showed up unexpected Cox: Four minutes and forty-four seconds Dan: Whoa whoa, easy there chief. Why don't we have one of those nurses there pour you a big tall glass of calm down juice
	Cox: You know Newbie, it's so interesting, I found I couldn't sleep last night so in order to past the time I started to make a list of things that annoy me more than you. Anyway, I came up with people who call wednesdays "hump day"... Dan: (sighs loudly) Cox: ... and of course all Sandra Bullock movies but now I am thrilled to announce your brother tops the list Dan: (interrupts) Hey chief, does this speech have an intermission, cause I gotta go to the lobby and take a wiz Cox: Actually, I'm not so keen on nicknames from guys that barely know me Dan: (mockingly) Actually, why don't you tell me what you are keen on, where's the crapper?
	Turk: You know, I wish I could be an insensitive cynical robo-doc like you, but unfortunately I don't hate the world enough, you know what I'm saying chief? Cox: People please stop calling me chief Dr. Kelso: Hey numbnuts
	Carla: Dan, what brings you to town? Dan: Some guy hired me to fly here and drive his mercedes back I figure it's an easy way to pick up some extra cash Carla: Plus, you get to hang out with Bambi JD: (maybe he'll let that go) Dan: Bambi? JD: Well, you know, it's a term of endearment that only Carla uses Dan: I respect that Bambi Carla: That's smart, because you do not want to get on Bambi's bad side and suffer the wrath of Bambi
	JD: Why are you here? Carla: Oh, room 310's test came back negative, I thought you might want to give him the good news Dan: Let me do it JD: What? Dan: I can totally be a doctor JD: I can't let you tell him Dan: I won't call you Bambi anymore
	Dan: Touch and go there for awhile, you're a fighter, you pulled through. We're going to get you out of here today, but I'd like you keep an eyes on those Rickles Mr. Rickles: Rickles is my last name Dan: You bet it is, do you have kids? Mr. Rickles: Yeah, two Dan: That's what I'm saying, lets keep an eyes on the little Rickles, children are our future JD: Doctor, it's an emergency, we need you right away Dan: Dammit Bambi, I'm busy. It's so hard to find a good male nurse these days, am I right?
	Dan: So, while I'm here we should play some frisbee golf, we should maybe give dad a call, dad, and we should definitely make sure I sleep with that Elliot chick JD: That's a little weird for me cause, I don't know if you know this or not, but we used to be intimate Dan: Intimate? What did you do, bathe her? JD: Yeah once, but she was wearing a swim suit
	Elliot: (laughing) JD: Stop you stupid laughing, it makes you look like a whore ....jokin'
	Janitor: Trick JD: Excuse me? Janitor: I just figure you've got to be wondering, am I going to get a trick or am i going to get a treat? You'll be getting a trick JD: Whatever Janitor: It'll be fast and you won't even know it's me JD: You just told me it was gonna be you Janitor: You'll still have your doubts and the best part is you'll be nervous all day about it because it could happen at any time (spooky voice)
	JD: Oh, I get it, lets see how tough you are without your costume on, go ahead and knock the folders out of my hand now (papers go flying) Janitor: What costume? JD: You weren't wearing a gorilla suit before? Janitor: There's someone running around in a gorilla suit? What does he look like? JD: A gorilla Janitor: Nope, it's not me JD: Then why did you knock the folder out of my hand Janitor: Because you told me to (puts a banana peel in JD's pocket) JD: I didn't ask you to do that Janitor: That comes free with the folder knock
	Turk: Dude, that girl in the wolf outfit is totally checking you out JD: I'd let her blow my house down, do you know what I'm saying?
	Dr. Kelso: It's nothing personal son, you just make me sick Doug: He called me son, he called me son! JD: Score
	Dr. Kelso: Do you know how long I've been waiting on you? Next time, if you are not here in 30 minutes or less I expect a free dead body or at least some garlic knots