My Brother, My Keeper

	JD: She's psychic!
	Janitor: Thank you.... for being you
	JD: Sir, can I call you Townsie? Dr. Townshend: No JD: (I was having a great time working with Townsie)
	JD: Hey Kev! Kevin: Hey Alfalfa, what's the happy haps? JD: That depends, what's a happy hap?
	JD: Excuse me sir, do you have a second? Dr. Kelso: Sport, what did I tell you about my open door policy? I don't have one
	Janitor: What the hell just happened? JD: I moved your ladder Janitor: I don't know why you keep doing these things to me JD: I don't know either
	Turk: She asked me to pick her up from the airport, that's a good sign right? JD: Good sign? Dude, I am so sure Carla is going to say yes, if she doesn't I'll power-walk naked through these halls singing "Me and Bobby McGee" Dr. Kelso: Ah Janis Joplin, good god she was an ugo. No offense sport, don't think I have anything against ugly people JD: Why would I take offense to that? Dr. Kelso: No reason
	JD: I still can't believe I power-walked butt naked through the halls of the hospital last night Turk: My man, I know that wasn't you JD: How? Turk: I am not really proud of this, but I can pick your puff and stuff out of a lineup JD: Oh, it changed since you saw it, it got a hair cut
	Janitor: Of course, this is Troy, you know him from the cafeteria line. He is going to stop spitting in your food JD: Thanks for that Troy: I still don't understand why we have to be nice to this punk Janitor: Because I said so Troy: Yeah, but... Janitor: Troy! No more warnings
	Troy: Let's see you drive home now, mister doctor man (laughing) Janitor: Troy, I said just stand there, didn't I? Troy: Yeah Janitor: I may have to get rid of the guy
	Cox: Jordan is here for her ultrasound today and I am going to be holding her claw the entire time, so, what you've just done is essentially volunteered to do all your work and all of mine and if you'll step right this way I'll tell you more about what you've won
	Cox: Look, Barbie! Elliot: Yeah, that's is not my name Cox: Fine... Dr. Reid, really? Elliot: What? Cox: Nothing Elliot: Dr. Reid in the house! (falls over)
	JD: You know sir, Dr. Townshend here was telling me you have some great old stories about the hospital, I'd love to hear one sometime Dr. Kelso: What the hell... Back in '68, I don't like you, the end Dr. Townshend: He tells that one a lot JD: I know
	JD: (Ohmigod, do something to change the subject, anything) Everybody, soda chugging contest! (gulps and burps) Excuse me
	JD: Hey chocolate bear, did you ask her? Turk: She said she needed to think about it then she hopped on a plane to Chicago for five days JD: (He needs you, stay positive) Woohoo, she's thinking she's thinking and we should go out drinking, wanna get a beer? Turk: I am not leaving this spot until she calls
	Cox: What's the deal there Gandhi? Are you going to be a bride? Oh c'mon, this is one those very small windows where I am borderline interested in your life, so what's the deal? Did she give you an answer? Todd: "Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose..." Turk: Not yet JD: Thanks Todd, here's that fifty bucks I promised you Todd: Keep it man, that was for me JD: Todd, get dressed Todd: I am going back out there
	JD: That was good Kev, we should make him make dinner for us tonight, he could be our own personal slave Kevin: Our own personal what now? JD: I don't mean like that kinda slave Kevin: How about this, how about he be the house slave and I be the field slave. That sound like fun to you? JD: That wouldn't be fun Turk: What's going on? Kevin: I forgot how much fun it was messing with Alfalfa
	Dr. Kelso: You need to shape up son, lord knows you're never going to get by on your looks JD: First of all, at the very least I am interesting looking
	Jordan: We are a horrible couple Cox: You couldn't be more wrong because even though that's not my kid in there I still want to feel connected. I just thought I would be more hooked in if I knew Jordan: It's funny, every time I think you are the same old sharp edged jackass you turn around and do something to remind me that you are such a pansie
	Dr. Gerson: So, are we finding out the sex of the baby today? Cox: Yes, we are Jordan: No, we're not Cox: Jordan, be reasonable. If you are incubating some kind of man-bat in there we should find out about it as soon as possible, there are vaccinations to consider Jordan: Tell you what, we'll compromise, I'll decide this and you get to decide... Sorry, I got nothing Dr. Gerson: Look, it's common for each parent to feel differently Cox: Actually, I am not the father, he's a bellboy in Greece Dr. Gerson: Neat Jordan: It's kicking me Cox: Who could blame the poor thing
	Cox: Barbie, I need you go down to the lab and pick up Mrs. Miller's blood work, I also need you to disimpact Mr. Burnett in 317, and what did you say the sex of the child was? Elliot: I've got a better idea, you do those things, and when you are done I'll think about telling you the sex Cox: That's weird, it seems like you just went to a swap meet and got yourself a big boy spine. Now listen, you tell or else! Elliot: Or else what, you'll treat me worse than you usually do? Here's the inside scoop, Perry. For the first time I have leverage, you're familiar with leverage right? It's what you're going to need when you disimpact Mr. Burnett who, by the way, is so locked up I'm guessing he's been eating either gum, rubber cement, or cork
	Cox: Alrighty there Dr. Leverage, listen up because here is the real inside scoop. I could literally sculpt a gigantic Mr. Burnett out of what I just removed from Mr. Burnett. So I really think it is in your best interest for you to start talking. Should I get the child a baseball glove or a tutu? Elliot: Girls can play baseball too Cox: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know what girls can do. You've come a long way, baby. Spill doll!