My Changing Ways

	J.D.: Come here, boy! Come on, Rowdy! Turk: No, you come here and eat your steak! Carla: What are you doing? J.D.: Oh, whoever Rowdy goes to first, he gets to keep him. Rowdy, if you come to me I'll scratch your special region! Carla: So, you moved back all the furniture and defrosted our dinner with your sweaty hands for a joke!? Turk: Yeah, we did.... Carla: If he stays, I'll drive him out to the country and leave him there. J.D.'s Thoughts: Huzzah! He's mine!
	Jake: Why would you do that? I was tr--I was trying to prove you don't do everything I say. Elliot: Well, clue me in, stud! That was Creepy Carl -- he runs an up-skirt website. ...I'm on it...
	Ted: Three-twelve times four-eighty-one equals.... Sir, it's not giving me the answer! Dr. Kelso: It's a typewriter, you jackass! Ted: Oh, God, it's got my tie!
	J.D.: So, yo, could I ask you a question? Turk: Yeah. J.D.: Why are we lying in the parking lot? (ambulance siren) Turk: Your hook-shot knocked you unconscious, so I lied down next to you so everyone would just think we were chillin'. J.D.: Oh, thanks SCB! By the way, I should tell you something: I found an apartment, I'm moving out the day after tomorrow. Turk: Wow. J.D.: Yeah. Turk: What does "SCB" mean? J.D.: "Super Chocolate Bear." Turk: I love it. J.D.: I knew you would.
	Carla: Sure, Jake, I'll tell you why it feels like I have a problem with you. The fact that Elliot jumps so high whenever you tell her to may seem harmless, but as a result she's been stealing all my sports bras! Seriously, the only one I have left is the one I'm wearing; and it works great, see?Huh? Jake: It works pretty nicely. Carla: It does, right? But! If I wanna jump up and down again this week, I'm stuck until laundry day!
	J.D.'s Thoughts: Okay, but Turk's a prideful guy, and it's hard for prideful guys to admit when they've been insensitive. Dr. Cox: Listen, Jordan, I've been incredibly insensitive. J.D.'s Thoughts: Touché, magic hallway.
	Turk: You know how you're prone to overly sensitive girly displays of sentimentality? J.D.: Guilty. Turk: Okay, now, if you reel it back a little bit, I'll get somebody to cover for me tonight, and I'll help you pack your stuff. J.D.: Oh! Can we cut words out of magazines that represent how we feel about each other and glue them into a "Friends Forever" collage? Turk: Hell no. J.D.: Oh. Well, can we drink beers and reminisce? Turk: Hell yes! J.D.: That's all I wanted to do anyway. J.D.'s Thoughts: Plus, I already made the collage.
	J.D.: Uhh, Jake...is it? Jake: Yeah, it's-- J.D.: I know your name, Jake, I'm being condescending. It's Jake, right? Look, no one here is settling. Here at Sacred Heart, you get to work with some of the finest doctors in the country. Todd: Out of my way! I got a doozy of a twosie!
	J.D.'s Narration: Elliot's boyfriend, Jake, had given her confidence to do things she'd never been able to do before. Jake: Okay, you ready to do this? Elliot: You know it! J.D.'s Narration: ...Like talking to people when she's on the toilet. Jake: Uh, okay, uh, I know how comfortable you are with Carla, so I'm gonna have her do the talking, all right? You just say when. Elliot: There's cheeks on the seat, and I'm feeling good! Let's hear it. Carla: Hello, Elliot. How are you doing? Jake: She went out the window.