J.D.: Mmmmm, Mulattos.
Carla: They're Milanos, you idiot.
J.D.: I always thought that was a little bigoted for a cookie.
Molly: Have her come in for a few sessions, I'll gladly prescribe antidepressants.
Dr. Kelso: That's going to be a problem.
Molly: Why?
Dr. Kelso: She doesn't know she's taking them.
Turk: Hold up! When Carla and I came home yesterday, we heard something. Did you two hook up in J.D.'s room?
Dan: A friend wouldn't ask and a gentleman wouldn't tell.
Turk: Did you?
Dan: Twice! But we didn't go under the sheets out of respect.
J.D.: How thoughtful!
Molly: Perry, no one's pure evil! I mean, yeah, some people have a hard outer shell, but inside, everybody has a creamy center.
Dr. Cox: There are plenty of people here on this particular planet who are hard on the outside and hard on the inside.
Molly: So they'd have more of a nougaty center?
Dr. Cox: Lady, people aren't chocolates. D'you know what they are mostly? Bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling. But I don't find them half as annoying as I find naive bobble-headed optimists who walk around vomiting sunshine.
J.D.: Oh, come on, don't go. We can watch 'Kangaroo Jack' and chug a Foster's every time they say "g'day"!
Dan: G'day, J.D.
J.D.: Dan!
Dan: I said g'day!
J.D.: Is that champagne?
Elliot: Yeah. Yeah, I was celebrating my...new jammies.
J.D.: I love champagne. You mind if I have a little? Thank you. A nipper!
J.D.: Ahh! Tingly! It's a tingly drink! Oooooh! Pretty candles!
J.D.: "I want to thank you! For giving me the best day of my life..." I love this song, who is it?
Elliot: Dido. And you've really got to meet my brother Barry.
Dr. Kelso: Dr. Clock, you don't have to miss your wedding. I was lying about shift-switching. I like doing it, I like saying it -- shift-switching. And I only lied because we were trying to destroy your morale.
Molly: Why would you do that?
Dr. Cox: Well, in our defense, you're overly cheery and we were bored.
Molly: But you thought it would be nice to come clean and make me feel better?
Dr. Kelso & Dr. Cox: Pretty much. Pretty much, yeah.
Molly: See, I told you there's good in everyone.