Elliot's Thoughts: Oh my God, here he comes. Okay, this is easy, just compliment him -- tell him he has a square head. That's not a compliment! What shape is a compliment? Triangle? Uh, pyramid? Circle! Circle head! Oh my God, you're stuck on shapes and Square-Head's almost here! To hell with it, just do what Dr. Cox said and ignore him.
Jake: Hey, Elliot.
Elliot: Mm.
Jake: So that girl's kinda cute, what's her story?
J.D.: She's a dude.
Jake: Nuh-uh.
J.D.: Gotta look at the Adam's apple, buddy.
J.D.: Keep it light! Open with a joke, and before you know it you and your raft will be on a four-hour trip to New Zealand!
Jake: No, it's more like fourteen hours.
J.D.'s Thoughts: Oh no. You're dangerously close to revealing that geography is your Achilles heel. Say something smart to regain credibility.
J.D.: Vasovagal syncope is mediated by the autonomic nervous system. And Betty needs you, pal. She does! Come on, do it. You'll feel good, trust me.
Jake: Trust you? You don't even know where New Zealand is.
J.D.: You can dance your way there from Old Zealand.
Jake: You an idiot?
Todd: I don't know how you do it -- make love with your lady in front of some old dude who's filming you?
Turk: That's not couples therapy, Todd.
Todd: Then what did I do?
Turk: You did amateur porn!
Todd: Sweet!
Ted: Oh. Here's my card.
Jake: This is a post-it.
Ted: I don't get real cards until I win a case.
J.D.: Go take a nap, Ted.
Jake: He spelled "attorney" wrong.
J.D.: Buy Groceries. Kill Self.