J.D.: Ooh, Dr. Cox, can I ask you something?
Dr. Cox: The answer is yes, it was me who saw you doing leg lifts in the gym on that inflatable ball. It was quite the display of girl power. Absolutely loved the leg warmers!
J.D.: First of all, they were just big socks, okay? And secondly, if you need to do some laundry, here's the washboard, right?
Dr. Cox: That young man has killed so many patients, I'm starting to think he just might be a government operative.

Carla: Turk! What is Rowdy doing in my closet?
Turk: He's guarding your shoes, baby!
Carla: He almost gave me a heart attack!
Turk: Baby, could you do me a favor and not hold him by the haunches like that? Yeah, he has hip dysplasia.
J.D.: He's a pure-bred -- it's genetic.
Carla: She releases Rowdy from her grip, dropping him to the floor. I am sick of that creepy thing! I want him out of my house!
Turk: Wow, isn't that a shocker, you don't care about something that's important to me. You know what? Why don't you just throw him out?
J.D.: Don't listen to him! He's drunk on cheese!
Dr. Kelso: This is a very dicey case. Ted, what do you think?
Ted the Lawyer: She knows my name! Whatever she wants!
Dr. Kelso: Very ethical. Why don't I open the floor to those people who currently do not have erections? Dr. Clock, do you think this guy'll stay clean?
Molly: Oh, I'm just here as a friend. I-I think you should ask Ted again.
Ted the Lawyer: Oh, good God, she knows it too! Am I awake?
Elliot: You got the heart valve!
Mr. Phillips: Oh! That's amazing! We have to celebrate. How do you celebrate without heroin?
Elliot: Uh, with cake mostly.
Mr. Phillips: Then let's score some cake.