My Fruit Cups

	JD: Pudding, score!
	JD: Dude, you are like the best friend ever!
	Turk: Hey, don't use Rowdy to cover up your giblets, apologize!
	JD: Luckily for Turk revenge is a dish best served cold, not unlike this tapioca pudding
	Cox: Jordan, please tell me you ate a racoon and it's slowly making its way through your digestive system Jordan: Oh don't worry, it's not your baby, though not for lack of trying. See, we have sex a lot
	Cox: Julie, this is my ex-wife Jordan. Jordan, this is my girlfriend Julie. Okay, that was a treat wasn't it? Now, would you like me to call you a cab or should I just whistle and have the flying monkeys bring the broom around?
	Carla: You don't seem that stressed out Elliot: Well, I haven't pooed in six days JD: Twice this morning and I haven't even had my coffee yet Elliot: You really pick odd things to brag about JD: I'm just saying, if I had to get three by lunch I probably could
	JD: (You learn to appreciate the little things, like waking up in your own bed, of course if there is someone there with you...) Julie: Sorry I woke you Cox: I'll live JD: (...That's just gravy)
	Janitor: You know, we are zeroing in on the guy who has been stealing stuff JD: Oh, well that's good Janitor: Yep, in fact right now I am dusting for finger prints JD: Really? Janitor: No, I'm just dusting
	JD: Oh, quit being such a baby! Turk: Baby? You stole my job! JD: You stole my money! Turk: That was a finder's fee! JD: Oh yeah, well, find this! Carla: You know you're supposed to grab your crotch when you say that JD: Wouldn't that hurt?
	Elliot: Those gyno girls are really putting the pressure on. We must have looked at a hundred women's bajingos today. Bajingo, bajingo, bajingo. I mean, I can't even look at my own bajingo, you know? Carla: Is that because it looks so much like a vagina? Elliot: (chokes) Carla, there's people!
	Cox: Well what can I say? You did exceptional work today Newbie, and I am proud of ya JD: (Did he just wink at me?) Cox: Is there a problem? JD: (I'm just so happy) No, no problem sir Cox: Thatta boy
	Cox: And Laverne, what is that delightfully naugh-tie scent you're wearing? Laverne: It's called twelve-hour shift Cox: Yeah, it is Laverne: Why the hell is he so cheery? JD: Because I did exceptional work today!
	Cox: Hey Jordan, are you, are you crying? Jordan: No, I don't know. I'm just completely hormonal. I mean, you try going from out of control horny to clinically depressed six times a day Cox: Give me a break, I can knock that out on my way to work
	JD: They're actually arresting someone for stealing pudding and toilet paper? Janitor: No, they found twenty bottles of Vicodin in his backpack. Did you steal pudding and toilet paper? JD: What? No! I hate pudding and I don't use toilet paper. I have one of those french things that shoots water up your butt Janitor: Bedet? JD: Bedet to you sir
	JD: (And here comes the wink, okay, maybe I'll start it off) Cox: Oh my god Sabrina, you had better tell me you just had laser eye surgery and they accidently severed the muscle that enables you to hold that lid up because you did not just wink at me JD: I didn't mean anything by it, I wink at everybody
	Carla: Don't take your anger out on Bambi Cox: I'm not angry. So my girlfriend serviced most of the staff, I am proud of her committment to medicine Carla: Pu-leeze, what about all the women you've slept with? Your ex-wife, that med student, your ex-wife, the cute nurse from radiology, your ex-wife Cox: Will you please get off my ex-wife? Carla: I will if you will Cox: (laughs) Damn it, gosh, now I am too proud of you to be mad at you
	JD: (I usually don't like thinking about the future.... I mean let's face it, you can't predict what's going to happen.... But sometimes the thing you didn't expect is what you really wanted after all.... maybe the best thing to do is stop trying to figure out where you are going and just enjoy where you are at)
	Turk: Hey man, want to grab a couple of beers tonight? JD: Can't, I am moonlighting in urgent care Turk: That's funny, the lady didn't call me JD: Well, maybe that's because I found out you stole a hundred dollars from me and I Marsha Brady-ied your ass Turk: What? JD: You know, when Marsha was working at the ice cream shop and she got Jan a job and they liked Jan better, so they fired Marsha Turk: Yeah, 'Marsha Gets Creamed', season 5, episode 3. Don't ever question me on 'The Bunch'. Besides, there's no way they liked you better than me JD: Then maybe it's because I told her that you smoked the ganja Turk: What? That's not even true! You're a jackass JD: Where you going? Munchies?