My Lucky Charm

	Turk: It's 10 o'clock. You ready? J.D.: Let's do it. J.D.'s Narration: But lately for us, our plans rarely involved leaving the apartment. Turk: I wasn't too excited about taking over this spot after you sat in it for twenty minutes, but I gotta tell ya, it's warm in all the right places. J.D.: Mm-hmm. Turk: How do you like what I left you over there? J.D.: Oh, man, your ass indentation is so deep, it's like I'm sitting in a giant inner tube. J.D.'s Narration: As Turk and I recuperated from our big chair swap, I wondered what other couples were doing tonight. Did I just refer to Turk and I as a couple? My point is, I'm sure other couples were out having fun.
	Cox: When's the last time we kissed? Jordan: About a month ago. Cox: When's the last time we had sex? Jordan: Yesterday. Cox: Whatta you say we head into the bathroom of this place and lower the health code rating from an A to a B? Whatta you say?
	Elliot: I'm so bummed. I can't go see the chamber orchestra tonight -- I totally forgot I have my Cantonese class. And I would totally call and cancel, but the only thing I know how to say is "I'm allergic to peanuts." Carla: Ohh, Elliot, I was really looking forward to this! Elliot: Oh. Janitor: Really? 'Cause about five seconds ago you were all giddy about going home and taking a bath tonight. Carla: Why would you do that to me? Janitor: New thing: I'm bustin' chops.
	Turk: Come on, Billy, just say it. Billy: For the last time, lads: no. J.D.: Oh, then perhaps you're not really Irish. Billy: FINE! Pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars, green clovers. J.D.: See! I told ya! J.D. & Turk: Yeah! J.D.: He's Irish! Turk: Yeah he is, yeah he is! Billy: How long're you two seeing each other? You're a great couple. J.D.: Ohh, no, man, we're just living together. And not like, like, livin' together, I mean, like, liiiivin' together!
	J.D.: We tear it. Turk: And--and--and sometimes lash, but with the hours we work, it's.... J.D.: It's less tearing and more folding. Turk: Right. J.D.: Gently folding. Turk: Yeah.
	Billy: How you doing? Jerry: Not great, actually. I'm dead. Billy: Bummer. How long? Jerry: Four years next month. Billy: Geez, that's a nightmare. I was dead once, for about ten minutes. Then me mate Danny peed on me head. Jerry: Really? Billy: It's quite a sight to wake up to, though.
	Billy: I'm supposed to be in Florence by midnight. Turk: How the hell are you gonna do that? Billy: Her apartment's two blocks away. It should be no problem at all.