Todd: As soon as we get out of this sterile field I am going to need the man who hit that, to hit that!
Carla: What the hell did you just do?
Cox: When you speak of this, and I know you will, could I be shirtless? I think it would be more impressive if I was shirtless
JD: Good morning people
Cox: Why in the hell are you wearing a coat?
JD: Because I'm a doctor
Cox: Look Babs, if you are truly worried about people seeing your ass then you just go ahead and do what the other girls do and tie a sweater around your waist
Janitor: I was in the military
JD: Where did you come from?
Janitor: If I find out you wearing a bronzy without having served I am going to make things uncomfortable for you
JD: (Coat wearing doctors do not take this crap) You were never in the military
Janitor: Yes, I was
JD: Which branch?
Janitor: The janitor branch
JD: I'm watching you... That's right Sasquatch
JD: Where did you come from?
JD: Coat wearing doctors do not take this crap
Dr. DiStefano: Hey there doctor
Elliot: Oh me, of course, because I'm a doctor. I've got the outfit, I've got the heart hearing thingy
Dr. DiStefano: Stethoscope
Elliot: Paging doctor know-it-all to the cafeteria
Elliot: Do me, do me, do me
JD: You are going to want to be careful about yelling that out in a bar
Elliot: I'm serious, all of you get to be something, the dork, the jock, the spicy firecracker from the school of hard knocks, no offense Carla. Dammit, what am I?
Carla: You're white
Turk: The whitest
JD: Yeah, you are
Elliot: Oh c'mon, JD's white
JD: I aint hearing that woman cause I'm talk to him
Turk: Okay, it's a tie
JD: .... T. Diddy?
Turk: Dude, you are such a loser, man
JD: I think I look spiffy, I am trying to separate myself from the whole pack
Carla: You already have Bambi, you are the biggest geek to ever come through here
Turk: Yeah, he is
Dr. Kelso: Sharp coat, sport
JD: Yeah, it's spiffy!
JD: Domo arigato, Doctor Amato ... How is that not funny?
Turk: I don't know dude
Elliot: The best thing was, since I knew it was just a fling, I wasn't afraid to ask him for exactly what I wanted
Carla: Which was?
Elliot: Shirt on, lights off, and no talking
Elliot: I'm Elliot Reid, tramp
Cox: So proud of you, put it there (whistle) woof
JD: Woof?
Ted: It's my birthday
JD: What?
Ted: Nothing.... And many more
Janitor: How's it going?
JD: You can't wear that
Janitor: You mean after Labor day?
JD: You know what I mean
Janitor: It's a white coat, anybody can wear a white coat
JD: Jerk
Janitor: You're what we call a goner, I'm kidding, there's nothing there
Elliot: No Dr. Murray, I don't want any fries to go with this shake. I don't even know what that means.
Noelle: Excuse me, Dr. Reid
Elliot: What, you want to ask me how many ceiling tiles I've counted this week, or maybe you just want to call me a name like tramp or ho or slesident, which apparently is half slut and half resident
Noelle: No
Elliot: Then what is it Noelle, what do you want?
Noelle: I just wanted to know where the g-spot is
Elliot: The what spot?
JD: So I didn't make a mistake and you were wrong when you said, "nice going newbie"
Cox: Here you've put me in tough situation, I can't honestly decide whether to say duh, adoy, or a very sarcastic oh really. My god Fiona!

Todd: T-Dawg, settle a little medical debate for us. I think Elliot's got a modest rack at best but my favorite attending here says that when he was "tuning in Tokyo" the other night the reception was excellent
Turk: Guys, Elliot is a friend of mine so I really don't want to talk about that, okay
Dr. DiStefano: So Dr. Turk, how's your back?
Turk: My back is as swollen as Elliot's big ass breasts, sir
Cox: Listen closely tiny dancer, I wouldn't be flapping my mouth if I had forgotten to get a blood culture on Mr. Blair, and for the love of god, do you at least remember what you were doing the day they were passing out common sense? Oh gosh, maybe you were running late that day because you just couldn't find the right thong for those low-rider jeans that you love so much or maybe you were busy bopping along to whatever boy band really makes your hear race nowadays and you just drove on by. Course, I don't know, I'm just guessing. But one thing is sure as shooting, you wound up at the dumb dumb store and you just went ahead and put as much of that in the car as you could fit, didn't ya?
JD: Look doctor, if you flipped the page on that chart you would see that I pan cultured him yesterday, but that would probably get in the way of the perverse pleasure you take in pointing out other people's slip-ups. Well too bad Buster Brown, because I am a resident now and I am not going to be making the same little silly intern mistakes that I made last year. I'd appreciate if you wouldn't stand here and yell at me in front of my patient
Cox: Buster Brown?
JD: Buster Brown! (Focus all energy on lip not quivering)
Cox: (Growls)
JD: Wow!
Janitor: Oh, so we're done with the coats? Well, it was a fun day though, wasn't it? See you tomorrow
JD: Maybe tomorrow I'll get a bad haircut and push around a mop all day.. I know, you don't have to do it, okay
Opera Guy: Mistake (holds for 10 seconds)
JD: Yeah