My Rite of Passage

	J.D.: So what did you want me to get you? Turk: A small one-pump mocha? J.D.: Wasn't that your nickname in high school? Helloooooooooo! Heh heh heh heh heh heh.... Turk: Dude, there's a guy upstairs waiting to have his spleen removed! J.D.: It was worth it!
	J.D.: Hippocratic Oath on three! One, two, three! All: "First do no harm"!. J.D.: There it is! All right, kick some ass today, guys! Except for Mr. Woodson in 302, he's got that rectal tear...
	J.D.: Sir, I'd love to chat, but it's already eight -- I gotta rock and roll. Dr. Cox: I beg your pardon? J.D.: I'm an attending! Dr. Cox: Tell it to the wall, Newbie!
	Ted: Those two new nurses have wonderful breasts. Todd: Hey! They have names! Tina, Marge; Sloppy, and Mr. Snuggles. Nurse Roberts: Sloppy's bigger than Mr. Snuggles.
	Mr. Thompson: Hey! If you feel like talking, I've got a dandy conversation starter: I have had someone else's fingers in four -- count 'em, four -- different orifices today. Jordan: Oh! Must be your birthday.
	Janitor: Not funny. J.D.: Have you been following me around all day dressed like an intern? Janitor: Yes. And you're a terrible teacher -- I'm not prepared to operate on anyone! J.D.: Whatever. If it wasn't funny, why did they all laugh? Janitor: Wake up and smell the third floor urinal I haven't cleaned in four years! Everybody kisses the ass of the person above them.
	J.D.: Okay, enough waving. You wave too much -- you abuse waving. Go.
	Elliot: Okay, I'm sure you know about it -- go ahead, take your shots. Turk: You've got bug eyes. J.D.: Just because you dye your mustache blonde doesn't mean it's gone. Elliot: That's...all that you have to say? Carla & Elliot: Excuse us. Elliot: Oh my God! You kept a secret! Carla: I know! I almost told them, too, but I didn't...because I love you. Elliot: I love you, too! Carla: Oh! Uh, I...I had to tell Turk something, so...you smoke a pipe now. Elliot: Huh! Coolio!