Carla: You know how they say 'no one will ever love you until you learn you love yourself'? Elliot: My mother used to say 'no one will ever love you' Carla: Just fake it, don't let him see what a neurotic mess you are. You see Turk over there? He doesn't know that I cry sometimes because I am not sure there is a cat heaven JD: You see, surgical and medical interns are kinda like two rival gangs. Not real gangs, more like those cheesy gangs you see in Broadway musicals JD and Turk: "Above It All" Cox and Dr. Wen: "Above It All" Cox: Sorry to interrupt you there Bob-o, but I gotta ask you a quick question, now, when you were a born, a spawn of the dark prince himself, did that rat bastard forget to give you a hug before sending you on your way? Elliot: So what are you, sick or something? Sean: My heartbeat, it's like, it's irregular. What's the medical word for it? Carla: Irregular Sean: Yeah, that's it JD: I win at cookie Sean: I have something for you in my pants Turk: Let's play steak JD: What? Turk: Steak, the first person to finish their steak is the winner of steak JD: I'm your biatch Elliot: This might sound weird, but I'm in love with that guy. If I don't sleep with him I'm going to kill myself JD: We're supposed to be a team Patient: You and me? We're gonna get killed Elliot: I can't believe I talked to Sean about poo for like 10 minutes Carla: Oh relax, nobody knows Laverne: Hey, poopy JD: What's up Benedict Turk: What? JD: Benedict Arnold Turk: That's just the lamest smack talk I've ever heard in my life JD: Oh yeah? That's not what the Red Coats thought Patient: Wow, you went colonial on his ass! Elliot: How could you possibly be single? Sean: I don't know, I mean, I'm kinda anal and neurotic Elliot: Oh my god, me too! Sean: Really? Elliot: Please, I like to keep my pens in order from least to most ink Sean: Oh, that is hot! Cox: Why hasn't he had a surgical consult? Oh, you know what, I'm sorry, that's my fault. I didn't make it clear to you how I feel about things that should already be done, so here it is, I almost always wish things were done already!